Aurelia's Wish
Breaking the #StillBorn silence...
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Aurelia's Wish
How it began...
Nothing in life can prepare you for the loss of your baby. After going through this heartbreaking pain myself, I understand how lonely it can feel. How it seems as though the dark cloud will never lift. I'm there now, with the rain cloud above my head, but I'm slowly learning that there are others beside me on this hellish journey.
Baby loss is a subject that simply isn't spoken about enough, and it's why I started this blog in my daughter's name. I want desperately to break the #BabyLoss and #StillBorn silence, and to let you know that if you, or anyone you love is going through the pain of losing a child, you shall never walk this path alone...x
About Me.
I'm Kajal, a proud wife to my long suffering husband Nik, and an even prouder mother to my two beautiful children, Virrae Yuvraj, aged 4 and as mad as a hatter, and Aurelia India, my angel princess who was born sleeping on 30th May 2019.Â
Ever since I was a young girl myself, I always dreamt of finding my prince charming, of getting married, and of becoming a mother. It wasn't until my son Virrae was born that I felt like I finally understood my purpose on this earth. In the years that followed his birth, we went through some life changing situations. We very suddenly lost Nik's dad to cancer and this had a huge impact on our lives.Â
I too had a breakdown which you can read all about on my post 'Mental Health is Wealth' at www.blondemummy.wordpress.com, and so having another child was out of the question until we got ourselves back on track.Â
As 2018 came to a close, Nik and I decided 2019 would be our year to try again. We felt ready and excited about the prospect of growing our family and giving Virrae a sibling. To our great surprise, we didn't need to wait till 2019 as I had already fallen pregnant, and when my period failed to arrive in January I was overwhelmed with joy. I sobbed in Nik's arms and thanked God with every being in me for blessing me with another pregnancy.Â
Almost six months passed, most of which I spent suffering with hyperemesis, so as you can imagine, I was on a countdown to bringing my baby home.Â
On 27th May 2019, I didn't wake up to my babies usual kicks. Initially I didn't panic, but after a few hours when I still hadn't felt so much as a flutter, I asked Nik to take me to hospital. Something in my heart told me there was something very wrong, and my mother's instinct was right. On this day I was delivered the devastating news that my baby had died, and in this moment, my life changed forever, and so did I.
I set up this site in my daughter's name, and I have called it Aurelia's Wish, because I believe that I have to use this pain, and turn it into power. I want to share my story, not only to honour my daughter, but to break the silence, to let other parents in this God awful position know that they are not alone, that somehow we will find our way in this darkness, and that the light will once again touch us. I truly believe that this was Aurelia's Wish...
Kajal. x